I guess somewhere
A lot of bad blood went down
What am I trying to say
.
Looking for the exits
Thinking about how quickly one should leave
Wondering where the car was
Finding quick explanations
Apologies
.
Feeling sick
.
Somewhere a lot of bad blood went down
I find myself repeating myself
myself
I just can’t deal with the problem
This
That
Everything that surrounds me
Everything that did
Why the cliches
Words lots of other people have used
To fail to explain an overwhelming feeling
.
Once told language was a barrier
That person doesn’t want to talk to me anymore
I laugh
I don’t really want to talk to me either
.
A lot of bad blood is going down
And I don’t understand why so many people have gaunt faces
There was another
And I speak quite literally, this I can’t really obscure
Closer to the front, just slightly
I remember his face so differently
Although I can recall how it was changing
That broke my heart
To see that gaunt mug
I don’t accuse him of that
I hope dearly I’m entirely wrong
Maybe that’s my problem obscuring his face
Wishing the problem to be his as well
.
Something takes me through time when I sleep
Causes me to play CDs I did when I was twelve
I’ll cause an earthquake and bury it all
I’ll go down with the ship
.
I don’t understand what I’m doing
I don’t have the tools
I don’t have the family
I just don’t have enough inside me
What do I want for it
A rifle, a dove
A wet rubber hand
This is becoming too long
.
What do I want to say
I want this feeling to go away
And I want to take back all the sadness from everyone
I’ll keep it all, I just want -
I want a lot of things
I’m fairly sure I’m a bad person
I’m getting closer to having someone telling me what I deserve