I guess somewhere

A lot of bad blood went down

What am I trying to say

.

Looking for the exits

Thinking about how quickly one should leave

Wondering where the car was

Finding quick explanations

Apologies

.

Feeling sick

.

Somewhere a lot of bad blood went down

I find myself repeating myself

myself

I just can’t deal with the problem

This

That

Everything that surrounds me

Everything that did

Why the cliches

Words lots of other people have used

To fail to explain an overwhelming feeling

.

Once told language was a barrier

That person doesn’t want to talk to me anymore

I laugh

I don’t really want to talk to me either

.

A lot of bad blood is going down

And I don’t understand why so many people have gaunt faces

There was another

And I speak quite literally, this I can’t really obscure

Closer to the front, just slightly

I remember his face so differently

Although I can recall how it was changing

That broke my heart

To see that gaunt mug

I don’t accuse him of that

I hope dearly I’m entirely wrong

Maybe that’s my problem obscuring his face

Wishing the problem to be his as well

.

Something takes me through time when I sleep

Causes me to play CDs I did when I was twelve

I’ll cause an earthquake and bury it all

I’ll go down with the ship

.

I don’t understand what I’m doing

I don’t have the tools

I don’t have the family

I just don’t have enough inside me

What do I want for it

A rifle, a dove

A wet rubber hand

This is becoming too long

.

What do I want to say

I want this feeling to go away

And I want to take back all the sadness from everyone

I’ll keep it all, I just want -

I want a lot of things

I’m fairly sure I’m a bad person

I’m getting closer to having someone telling me what I deserve