I remember having tantrums at the age of twelve, looking at the prices of these things. Maybe it’s the music.
I remember all my muscles locking up, arms contorted, legs dove-toed. Knees helping me do this funny dance. It’s serious. Everyone can hear, everyone’s looking, this is being told to my grandparents. I’m a nancy boy, that’s what this is. This is because I’m spoilt.
All the blood I owned going to my head, water in my nose, water in my eyes, running into my mouth. I’m now panting and screaming, face wet and ruddy.
BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT. I WANT IT.YOU SAID. PLEASE. I JUST. I. I. I. I. W-W-WAN - MA-MA-MUM
How old am I now? I don’t know how old I am. All this is in my head now, I just stop talking and start running when something’s not what I want.
I wrote these during the week. They’re about different things. I feel like I have to introduce them a bit now, I won’t be doing this again, introducing things is stupid. Introducing people is important. Because once you’ve been introduced they can rip you off.
You Sound Like
What do you think
What is inside there
This is what I have to know
Square pegs in round holes, everyone.
Because I’m out of my depth,
When you’re like me
And you can only pick up the kitchen-scraps
And wade through deep fogs, your voice echoing
And smell what could just be a hallucination
You’d be pleased to know what the secret is.
I’m only responsible for me,
and the emotions of a million other people
And when I said no,
I did it with the least emotion and care I’d ever used in my life
There’s a control panel somewhere
Famous last words
The liars are the ones who smile so
And become different people
I’ll be me
I left a beer bottle on your stairs
If your mother came home
that night and killed herself walking up them
I’d turn myself in
A lady on the mobile phone, as I left the train, my face in a book:
FUCKING HELL JOEL
THE FOOD ISN’T FOR ME
I’M NOT GOING TO BE EATING
IT’S FOR YOU!
GO AND GET THE FUCKING FOOD JOEL.
FUCKING HELL JOEL.
You know I’m starting to miss a lot of people I still talk to a lot.