This is some of my worst writing because the two characters just talk straight past each other, and because of that you can easily detect that I’m trying to write about something else.
I’m cutting the above passage out of the book, or at least splitting its content into other parts of the story.
I read what I wrote there a year ago and cringe!
Sherpy approached the two in the gardens.
“Sir - Miss Humphries.”
When they barely turned around to greet him he looked searchingly at the industrial district at the foot of the plateau in the distance.
“I dare say some are working there for promises at the moment - what good is money when an army’ll rob your house?”
Sherpy risked a furtive glance at Humphries dabbing her eyes with her gloves.
“Is - is everything all right?”
“I guess it depends, doesn’t it,” Sherpy said quietly. “Come inside - we’ll just get this business finished and you can stay for lunch if you’d like.”