BOOTLICKER

October Check In

2018-10-12

So the last month for me has been terrible. Again. I was employed as a mechanic at a very large workshop here in Sydney, starting two days after I returned from Perth after being hospitalised there.

The workshop was tough to work in. I felt anxious for the exact same reason as I did at the workshop I was in in April. People kept telling me that I was okay to make mistakes, but frequently, nobody could tolerate them.

I think also there was a strong subtext that people thought I was a know-it-all and wanted to show off how intelligent I was all the time. Eventually the anxiety that I suffered with day in, day out became too much for me and I had to quit on Wednesday.

Now I am unemployed, and I need to find a job. There is a possibility that I may have to go back to my hometown of Perth if I can’t find a job and the bills here in Sydney between Charmaine and myself pile up too much.

But I have already had some online interviews, and I am positive I may get a job. I think I will perhaps go back to university and study computer science. I think this may require me to file a leave of absence on my philosophy PhD.